Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Bad Dreams and Bad Future

Date: 5/23/2017
Type: Dream, CE4
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Time of Incidents: 2:00am-8:00am, 
Attempted Time of Sleep: 2:00am, 4:20am, 6:00am
State of Mind Before: Extremely Depressed, Worried (Me)/Sad, In Pain (Aunt)
State of Mind After: Numb (Me)/Scarred, In Pain (Aunt)
Odd occurrences before: None
Odd occurrences after: None

Last night I had a series of dreams like I did before with my Wolfbrother. I kept waking up in fitful sleep.
I am assuming that there were stressed induced over the situation. However, the dream fall in a theme of where somethings is going on. The first one was obvious, but the other two follow the programing aspects with the lecture and movie theater, plus the old man and security guard were not people....but observers.

First of my aunt says around 3:30am there was a weird buzzing in the guest room. That work here up. he went back to sleep. She also indicates that she too heard the loud bang on the front door. When I went in though, she just lay there trying to go back to sleep not wanting to deal with the strange occurrences.

Dream 1
I am looking for my Wolfbrother. I am wandering in the darkness, I am trying to find him. I somehow end up at my mother's old apartment. I am around 10, I mutter "Wolfbrother this is not funny, I can't be like this if you abandon me. How will I defend myself?". I run to the bedroom and hide in the bed. This place has bad memories and is scary. I wedge myself between the mattress and the wall to stay safe.
An odd parody of my mother came in and asked "Where have you been?" I tell her "I have been looking for my brother". She point to the bunk beds and says "Your brother is up there". I tell her "No. My real brother, the one who is my twinflame. The one they took and keeping taking". I begin to curl up and cry, "Wolfbrother where are you. We are supposed to do this together. I am here wolfbrother. I miss you! I am not leaving you, come back!"
My mom comes to comfort me and says "You will always be alone. People will abandon you. You are worthless and have no real value. You were a mistake and always will be. You only have us. We are coming back, there is no one to stop us now, and we are going to take what want".
I look at here still crying, "Why would you say this? That is so mean?"
She says to me again "They will come to the foot of you bed and you will be gone".
Under my breath I say, "Good thing I don't sleep in a bed then stupid bitch".
She looks confused and corrects herself "bedding area".
I look at the foot of the bed, two greys are standing there watching. My mother was never there....it was them....pretending to be her.

I wake up at 3:55am because someone hit the front door. Everyone was asleep though. My canine buddy was confused. I took my staff and checked the house. I was very uneasy about the dream. This is most likely stress related.....
Dream 2
I awake and I am late for school. I about twelve. I do not want to be here. I am unsure what call I am supposed to be in. It seems it is world history. One of the other students says I am in the wrong desk again and gives me my back pack. The other students are hybrids, very pale skin to cool tan with long hair and wide eyes. I look outside we are in a desert community.
Our assignment is to write an essay on family. As I pull out of work and looking for papers, years go bye. Now I am 18. I pull out a folder, and there is a paper that says "I love you, Wolfbrother" written in kid's scrawl. I look around and I am in the desert still, as the classroom windows are open. The hybrids had left. There is one other student here. He appears to be a male human, tall Caucasian with long blonde sandy hair, has classes, and is wearing brown pants and a green sweater. He nods and me and gets up. I follow the guys because I am attracted to him and know him, but can't remember.
The school hallways are a mix of styles from a basic elementary school system, to a high school, to a full blown university.
As I am following this guy I pass Mary, she tried to flag me down but I just keep going and disappear into the crowd. This is when I realize I am in a hospital gown.
I am in a line now to go to a lecture hall, it says it Hollywood Politics. Everyone there is from various walks of life and standing in trance like state. The guy looks at me and winks and disappears.
Before I get to the doors of the lecture hall I walk out of line and join another line of people moving to another hall. I do this a couple of times to avoid going in the lecture halls and I also was removing some clothes from people to put together an outfit for myself.
The doors all close to these lecture hall and I am left outside. There is a weird humming noise. Someone patrols the halls to make sure everyone went in, but I am hiding. When they pass I begin to wander around the facility. The place is spotless and clean. The library here is like an atrium, very open with blue skies beyond the windows. The workstations have a blue holographic terminal interface display. I stroll along looking. There is a video of "them" cutting the legs of my guest here in the other room, I can overhear them communicate "You are next. Sleep".
A group of beings announces "You are not supposed to be here" as they walk into the area I was reviewing the monitor in. I wake up.  

Dream 3
I am at work. I realize I need to type in two dreams. I am dreaming again. This is not real. A co-worker asks me for help accessing her computer. I quickly get the program running for her and she is happy. She comments "If it wasn't for you, I do not know what I would do. I just smile". I look around to see what I am doing here, it seems it is a clerical admin job where I am processing orders. The orders are a fulfillment type things where people are ordering all sorts of things from a catalog. I process a few orders for snacks, and a "Spectra" Unicorn play set. While processing that order, there are some cool dragons. I get those to buy myself thinking "Wolfbrother would love these". I start to cry...I do not know why. That is when they announce that the shift was over.
We all begin to leave, and I make sure my station is in order.

Instead of going home we are all going to see a movie. Other than the co-worker that asked me for help, we are all moving in a group.
I do not want to be here. Something is off. Everyone gets a ticket, no one pays, we are shuffled in past the concession stand and everyone gets a free popcorn and drink, and we all proceed to the movie. Before we go in an older gentleman pulls me aside so we can watch on the balcony "Observation Room".
The man was asking me "Who would make me happy? You showed interest in one man from the school. What about this one down here from your work". " I reply, not looking in his eyes, "Someone else loves me but I am not supposed to talk about it. He says if I do I have no chance". The old man leans in closer and says "How is that love? Sounds like he is using you. We can't fix him, he has resisted and gone off on his own. You performed admirably, and it is worrisome that you continue as intended when your partner does not."
I tell him "Look, you can't just replace this like a machine. I love him. Love doesn't work like that."

The dream shifts and now I am driving my aunt, grandmother, and some security officer to dinner. My grandmother and aunt do not notice the security officer. We are going to  a restaurant to eat, as we are walking there my grandmother wants to go to the bakery. I follow her, the guard stays with my aunt but watches me. The bakery is called "Palo". It has donuts, spare ribs, cooked meats, and breads.
I thought this was really weird....bread and meats. Mr grandmother is in line, and says "Remember Dr. Palo".

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Check up and a Sense of Urgency

Date: 5/20/2017
Type: CE4
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Time of Incidents: 11:15pm to 11:30pm
Attempted Time of Sleep: 9:00pm
State of Mind Before: Extremely Depressed, Worried (Me)/Sad, In Pain (Aunt)
State of Mind After: Numb (Me)/Scarred, In Pain (Aunt)
Odd occurrences before: Talking, Desert View
Odd occurrences after: None

Today I felt extremely depressed, I pushed through meeting my obligations and doing my best to keep busy.
A few nice things showed up, sadly it was stuff I hoped my wolfbrother and I could enjoy once more together, so it was bittersweet. After a few hours I really didn't want to be awake. So I said a prayer for him and tried to sleep. As it was I was having trouble, and started to get the feedback issue. Unlike before were there are monitors and corridors....I was outside.....it was a scrub terrain some lights in the distance indicating a town or something. I just ignored it and cried myself to sleep....there was a voice asking "Where? Where?". I just muttered while crying off to sleep "Find him yourself, all your fault, he is gone".

I actually had a dream about my Wolfbrother. I was still following him. I assume this was a lucid dream, as my prayer was an indication for him to be watched over by the wolf and raven sprirts, to guide him and to keep him safe. I was my wolf self following to make sure he was okay. In the dream he let me come close and we watched the sunset together and I lay my head on his lap (as a wolf), I remember thinking to "I will always be by your side, no matter the distance".

I woke up kinda saddened by that dream. I am trying to feel numb, but the pain hurts so much. I just go to the restroom to pee and walk back to my bed area. I lay down, trying not be sad when a familiar sound starts. It is a high pitch sound and I feel my bed re-acting. I hear my canine friend whimper. I begin to yell in my head "No. No. Your fault. He is gone. Wandering Desert. Get him yourself and bring him back". The entity now walking in the room communicates "Where is your companion. Why?". I respond again "Wandering Desert. Bring him back. He is gone". I regain my composure as the noise leaves and the presence is gone. I lay there and do not want to turn around. Not sure if this was caused by stress or if this was real. I am hurt and don't really care and begin to cry myself to sleep.

At 12:45am I wake up to put my aunt to bed. The event is still in my head. I take a few minutes to compose myself so she doesn't know something is wrong. I attend to her needs and put her to bed. She asks me if I heard the noise. I ask her to go on. She indicates that she heard me get up and go to the bathroom around 11:15pm and then shortly thereafter a weird high pitch noise came from the bathroom and an entity walked out the door an into the room. It was in a hurry and passed by as she said "Don't hurt me and leave my dog alone". It then proceeded into the hallway where my canine companion whimpered as I had heard.

I was going to mark this off as a stress induced incident, but since my aunt confirmed things....they are very aware.... my wolfbrother is gone.